Marry Him

The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough

A New York Times Bestseller and New York Times Editors’ Choice selection

Do you sometimes wonder why your relationships don’t last?
Does it feel like you just can’t seem to find the right partner?
Do you often wish that your spouse were more this and less that?

Marry Him shows you how to change these patterns. Lori Gottlieb noticed that modern relationships seemed to be getting ever more complicated and statistics backed that up: more people who wanted a happy marriage were having trouble finding—and sustaining—one. What was getting in the way? Drawing from the most current scientific research on love and marriage, along with surprising insights from renowned experts in the field, Marry Him is an eye-opening, funny, and candid in-depth examination of today’s relationships and a call to arms about having higher standards about what really matters for lasting love. Marry Him helps readers both single and married discover their blind spots when it comes to finding and sustaining fulfilling relationships.

Reviews

“An unexpected delight…the truth can be liberating.”The New York Times

“Marry Him is surprisingly, unnervingly convincing.” O, The Oprah magazine

“This impeccably researched tome is mandatory reading.” The Huffington Post

“An honest, astute analysis… groundbreaking work.” Booklist, starred review

“Provocative … Gottlieb encourages us to think through our own beliefs and unexamined assumptions.” The Chicago Tribune

“A sensible plea to discard the toxic fantasy of romantic comedies and think realistically about what makes a solid partnership.” Salon

“Marry Him is a frank and funny read, weaving real people’s stories with Gottlieb’s own experiences, and containing sharp examinations of how society and culture come into play when modern women look for love.” The New York Observer

“In business, ‘good enough’ is often ‘very good.’ So why should we expect—and demand—perfection in dating and marriage?” Forbes

“The advice makes good sense, and Gottlieb is personable and appealing.” Publishers Weekly

“A funny cautionary tale of one woman’s journey through the modern landscape of dating.” Library Journal

“Marry Him is this year’s intelligent, eye-opening insight into modern relationships—a fast, funny read which might just be a formula for marital bliss.” The Times of London

“Marry Him is filled with thought-provoking ideas … a compelling read.” The Washington Post

“Funny and relatable… anything but antiromance.”People magazine

“What I failed to realize, in the blushing first stages of romantic love, is that romance is not what runs a household, gets the kids washed, or folds the ironing.” Good Housekeeping

“Why wait for the perfect man, when he just might be a myth?” Stephen Colbert
Comedy Central’s The Colbert Report

“Gottlieb gets a lot right… even for women like me, who haven’t been planning their dream wedding since girlhood; who are in fact ambivalent about babies and marriage. I think Gottlieb has done something important. She debunks the vapid ‘You go, girl!’ form of empowerment, which often harms women by suggesting that they shouldn’t settle for less than everything. Gottlieb, in contrast, tells her story as if she were speaking to a roomful of adults, who can be trusted not to faint at the news.” The Economist

“The buzz surrounding Marry Him, is well-deserved… She writes with honesty and hope, and there are many people who will benefit from reading this book.” The Examiner

“This is the smartest relationship book I’ve read in years.” AOL’s Lemondrop.com

“I think this is going to continue to be debated for the next millennia or two.” NPR

“Gottlieb’s advice contradicts the romantic message of a million love songs and Valentine’s cards and chick flicks. But given the perennial shortage of perfect men, she’s probably got a point.” The Washington Post

“Worth your time… a well-conceived and convincing argument on how to find a more realistic Mr. Right. If you’ve ever sought your own Prince Charming, your love life will never be the same again. And that’s a good thing.” Christian Science Monitor

“Very funny… Gottlieb focuses on what makes a real successful relationship, and guides the reader in that direction.” Heeb Magazine

Praise

“Marry Him is a treasure. A must-read on getting the male and female brain together in almost perfect harmony.” Dr. Louann Brizendine
Professor of clinical psychiatry at UCSF and New York Times bestselling author of The Female Brain and The Male Brain

“What Lori Gottlieb is saying isn’t subversive—it’s smart. A thoroughly entertaining reality check, it will make single women laugh and squirm, and married people appreciate their spouses even more.”Diablo Cody
Academy Award-winning screenwriter of Juno

“I wish I could round up every single woman I know and assign this book for discussion. Gottlieb helps women see how our cultural or private fantasies build up so many expectations that they destroy the possibility of real love and, eventually, marriage. Marry Him is a big fat lesson in how not to get in your own way. Any woman who wants to find true love should read this book.” Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D.
New York Times bestselling author of The Normal Bar: The Surprising Secrets of Happy Couples

“A hopeful message … for anyone wondering why she hasn’t found Mr. Right.” Jill Soloway
Creator of Amazon’s award-winning television series Transparent

“Engaging, hilarious, and eye-opening! Marry Him is an encouraging story about finding love by getting real.” Rachel Greenwald
New York Times bestselling author of Find a Husband After 35

“A daring and wise book. Gottlieb tells it like it is: In our modern world of excess, too many of us have unrealistic expectations about love, and even more unrealistic views of ourselves. Women (and men) should take Gottlieb’s message to heart: Look for reasons to say yes. It could change your life.” Helen Fisher, Ph.D.
Senior researcher at The Kinsey Institute and bestselling author of Why Him? Why Her? How to Find and Keep Lasting Love

“I have been very happily married for many years, and if my daughters ever ask me for advice about potential spouses, I plan to pass off a lot of what’s in this book as my own sage wisdom.” Kurt Andersen
New York Times bestselling author and host of the Peabody Award-winning public radio show Studio 360

“Marry Him shows women how to find true happiness when seeking love—by giving them a new way to look at the world. Gottlieb manages to be hilarious yet thought-provoking, light-hearted yet profound on the questions of: Why do we fall in love? What qualities really matter in a marriage? For what reasons do we make the decisions that affect our whole lives? Marry Him will set people talking for years.” Gretchen Rubin
New York Times bestselling author of The Happiness Project

“By telling you to read Lori Gottlieb’s incisive and insightful book, I hope I can make up for all the unrealistic propaganda I had a hand in spreading as a former editor at a glossy women’s magazine. The surprising truths in Marry Him go against just about everything we’ve been brought up to believe about dating and marriage.” Megan McCafferty
New York Times bestselling author of the Jessica Darling series