Marry Him: The Case for
Settling for Mr. Good Enough

by Lori Gottlieb

A New York Times bestseller and New York Times Editors' Choice Selection!

> Foreign Edition Gallery
> What People are Saying
> What People Said about the Atlantic article
> Marry Him Appearances
> Marry Him in the Media
> Marry Him Interview
> Reviews
> Book Group Information
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Foreign Edition Gallery
I'm thrilled that Marry Him can be read around the world in these editions!


What People are Saying
"What Lori Gottlieb is saying isn’t subversive – it’s smart. A thoroughly entertaining reality check, it will make single women laugh and squirm, and married people appreciate their spouses even more."
—Diablo Cody, Academy Award-winning screenwriter of JUNO

"I wish I could round up every single woman I know and assign this book for discussion. Gottlieb helps women see how our cultural or private fantasies build up so many expectations that they destroy the possibility of real love and, eventually, marriage. Marry Him is a big fat lesson in how not to get in your own way. Any woman who wants to find true love and hasn’t been able to should read this book."
—Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., relationship expert at

"Finally, here’s a cautionary tale for anyone wondering why she hasn’t found Mr. Right—with a hopeful message about the Mr. Right Nows, the Mr. Close Enoughs, and even the Mr. What the F*#%s."
—Jill Soloway, writer and executive producer for Six Feet Under

"Engaging, hilarious, brutally honest, and eye-opening! Marry Him is an encouraging story about finding love by getting real."
—Rachel Greenwald, New York Times bestselling author of Find a Husband After 35

"This is a daring and wise book. Gottlieb tells it like it is: In our modern world of excess, too many of us have unrealistic expectations about men and love, and even more unrealistic views of ourselves. Women (and men) should take Gottlieb’s message to heart: ‘Look for reasons to say yes.’ It could change your life."
—Helen Fisher, Ph.D., Rutgers University and author of Why Him? Why Her?

"I have been very happily married for many years, and if my daughters ever ask me for advice about potential spouses, I plan to pass off a lot of what’s in this book as my own sage wisdom."
—Kurt Andersen, New York Times bestselling author of Heyday and host of public radio’s Studio 360

"Marry Him shows women how to find true happiness when seeking love—by giving them a new way to look at the world. Gottlieb manages to be hilarious yet thought-provoking, light-hearted yet profound on the questions of: Why do we fall in love? What qualities really matter in a marriage? For what reasons do we make the decisions that affect our whole lives? Like provocative relationship classics such as The Rules and He’s Just Not That Into You, Marry Him will set people talking for years."
—Gretchen Rubin, New York Times bestselling author of The Happiness Project

"Lori Gottlieb’s smart, insightful, witty observations gleaned on her own unusual romantic path signal an important new voice in single-girl lit. The Rules turned single women needy, He’s Just Not That Into You made them depressed, and Marry Him finally sets them free, preaching that in the long run, ‘good enough’ might be better than great."
—Amy Sohn, author of Prospect Park West

"Marry Him is a treasure. A must-read on getting the male and female brain together in almost perfect harmony."
—Louann Brizendine, New York Times bestselling author of The Female Brain and the upcoming The Male Brain

"By telling you to read Lori Gottlieb’s incisive and insightful book, I hope I can make up for all the unrealistic romantic propaganda I had a hand in spreading as a former editor at a glossy women’s magazine. For anyone who is single but looking, the surprising truths in Marry Him go against just about everything we’ve been brought up to believe aboutdating and marriage."
—Megan McCafferty, New York Times bestselling author of the Jessica Darling series

What People Said About the Atlantic Article
"Gottlieb gets a lot right about what it's like to be a heterosexual, middle-class, single woman in her 30s, and how different it is from being a heterosexual, middle-class single woman in her 20s. What took me by surprise is the extent to which the change is palpable, even for women like me, who haven't been planning their dream wedding since girlhood; who are in fact ambivalent about babies and marriage… I think Gottlieb has done something important … She debunks the vapid "You go, girl!" form of empowerment, which often harms women by suggesting that they shouldn't settle for less than everything. Gottlieb, in contrast, tells her story as if she were speaking to a roomful of adults, who can be trusted not to faint at bad news."
—The Economist

"Just six years ago, suggesting that women consider their eggs before rejecting suitors was controversial. Today, it's so commonplace that the very un-Carrie notion of "settling" is no longer taboo. Settling will make you happier, [Gottlieb] said, because those who marry with high expectations are only disappointed."

"It all depends on what you consider settling. What I failed to realize, in the blushing first stages of romantic love, is that romance is not what runs a household, gets the kids washed, or folds the ironing."
—Good Housekeeping

"[Gottlieb’s essay] has sparked responses, in the blogosphere and elsewhere, whose collective word count surely exceeds that of her article by at least a hundred-fold… I detect enough self-deprecating drollery in the essay to persuade me it's not the crime against humanity that many of its more vehement critics are convinced it is."
The Los Angeles Times

"Last week I was in the salon getting a mani-pedi and I overheard two of the gals discussing an article from the Atlantic magazine.  Why wait for the perfect man, when he just might be a myth?"
— Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report

"I think this is going to continue to be debated for the next millennia or two."
—Neal Conan, NPR’s “Talk of the Nation”

"Gottlieb's advice contradicts the romantic message of a million love songs and Valentine's cards and chick flicks. But given the perennial shortage of perfect men, she's probably got a point."
The Washington Post

The New York Times
"An unexpected delight. Honest and darkly comic... the truth can be liberating."

People magazine
"Funny and relatable... anything but antiromance."

O, The Oprah Magazine
"Marry Him is surprisingly, unnervingly convincing... Readers may ask, what is an unhappily single woman doing, telling us how and why to get married? But maybe the better question is, who better?"

The Huffington Post
"This impeccably researched tome is mandatory reading."

Booklist - starred review
"Gottlieb’s honest, astute analysis will resonate with many women...she makes a strong case in this groundbreaking work."

The Chicago Tribune
"A provocative pop culture treatise... Gottlieb encourages us to think through our own beliefs and unexamined assumptions."

Christian Science Monitor
Marry Him is worth your time. You might be skeptical, but if you’ve ever sought your own Prince Charming, nixed a guy because you didn’t feel an immediate spark, been attracted to the “bad boy,” or found yourself expecting perfection, this book is for you. After you read this honest and admittedly unsettling book, your love life will never be the same again. And that’s a good thing. A well-conceived and convincing argument on how to find a more realistic Mr. Right.”

“It was a humbling experience to read MARRY HIM, but I’m so glad I did.”

The New York Observer
"Marry Him is a frank and funny read, weaving real people’s stories with Gottlieb’s own experiences, and containing sharp examinations of how society and culture—everything from When Harry Met Sally to The Bachelor—come into play when modern women look for love."

Forbes Woman
"In business, ''good enough'' is often 'very good.' So why should we expect--and demand--perfection in dating and marriage? In business, 'good enough' is often ''very good.' So why should we expect--and demand--perfection in dating and marriage?"

The Examiner
"The buzz surrounding Lori Gottlieb's newest book, Marry Him, is well-deserved... She writes with honesty and hope, and there are many people who will benefit from reading this book."

"This is the smartest relationship book I've read in years."

“A sensible plea to discard the toxic fantasy of romantic comedies and think realistically about what makes a solid partnership.”

Publishers Weekly
"The advice makes good sense, and Gottlieb is personable and appealing."

Library Journal
"A funny cautionary tale of one woman's journey through the modern landscape of dating."

Heeb magazine
"Very funny... Gottlieb focuses on what makes a real successful relationship, and guides the reader in that direction."
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